Graduation Week!

​I can not believe I am graduating with my doctorate in Kinesiology this week. So many emotions are stirring. I am so proud to finally finish this dream and goal that started over a decade ago. To be honest, once the business started gaining traction, I had put it in the back pocket for some day that I was unsure would come.

I am also very anxious. Having technically graduated three times (high school, undergrad, and masters), I have only one typical graduation. I was not able to walk at my high school graduation due to a stupid mistake and the school thinking punishing me would be the best option for my future. They were wrong but that story and the ramifications will be told another day. This was probably the worse thing for my abandonment trauma (another story another time lol). I graduated normally for undergrad (thankfully). When I walked graduation for my masters degree, I received a call 3 weeks after with the registrar office telling me I did not graduate and needed one more class. Talk about completely halting my entire plan for the future. This is what led me back to Tampa and eventually starting the business, so I guess it turned out for the better but I still have ptsd flareups from this especially leading up to this graduation. This kind of stress leads me to just freeze, just waiting for the ball to drop. Like I messed up again and graduating isn’t going to happen. I keep checking my transcript and degree works to make sure everything is good, that nothing was missed. I had to physically see the package from the company sending my regalia as they did not provide proper documentation on when it was getting here while I was baby sitting my sister and brother in laws dog. I am already starting to create the schedule of things in order to make it all seem more manageable. I know I can handle it all and have proven with all these previous situations that I am completely capable. Too bad stress does not work like that.

Another feeling that comes up towards this accomplishment is liberated. I was considered dumb growing up and I took that to heart because I was told this before I could figure out who I was. I also was never given the tools to show my intelligence. I then saw those who were considered smart were ridiculed for it and I was already bullied just for existing so I think subconsciously I decided to just play the dumb kid as it was easier than being this complex individual that I was and still am. I finally feel liberated from those labels people put on me and it will be a big weight lifted once I walk across that stage with a prefix on my name that cannot be taken away and that was given due to hard work and determination.

Overall, I am just glad to celebrate and close this chapter. On to the next one soon!

Til next time,
Dr. Mark