Being Frozen

Have you ever heard of the 4 F's of trauma. Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn. These are ways people react to traumatizing events. Everyone responds with each one depending on the trigger of the trauma but we typical have a go to.
My go to is to freeze. This does not mean I'm not productive or I just stop moving all together. This is more my mind feels frozen. It can't stop trying to process situations. Telling me I cannot move forward unless this thing happens. I found out my go to F and why I do it a couple years ago when I was suggested to read a book on Complex PTSD by my therapist. I'll probably share a book review on it another time.
So, I grew up in a home where my stepbrother had pretty violent tendencies, so I learned very early on that fight was not much of an option. Not that it was not triggered, just that it was less likely to help the situation I was in. I also did not believe I could fly, though I did wonder off. The times I did was met pretty swiftly. That wasn't an option. I stayed in my own head due to being autistic so did not even process to fawn. That left me to freeze. Anytime anything changed in the moods in the house, I would freeze. I stayed playing video games. Any sort of feeling was pushed down and later self-medicated to help avoid the urge to fight or flight. I thought getting out of that environment would help but turns out it can be heavily influenced by too new of environments.
As I write these pieces detailing aspects of my past, I find myself completely writing out my history. Guess that's what happens when so many things are intertwined. Not getting back into my story too heavily.
Due to situations, I have found myself back in this mode lately. Freezing as I wait for things to occur, just as I waited for my real dad to come pick me up when he didn't or at least come around. Part of me writing this is to get me out of the freeze. To feel productive as I wait for things to pan out or not. I'm not writing about this because I have any answers to this, but I feel this stuff needs to be talked about more within our community. If you have ways you get out of your F. Let me know in the comments below.
Til next time- Dr. Mark